I met Johnny Depp - or did I????
Hollywood is my 'playground'. One of the things I like doing is to walk down Hollywood Boulevard of a weekend and 'people watch'. I adore the Street Performers who get out there, including Rocky, Star Wars Troopers, Spiderman, Batman (I LOVE that outfit!), Catwoman and my latest favorite - Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean (Heck, I'd walk the plank for him ANYTIME!)

Anyone who hasn't seen this movie needs to do something about it -it is one of the BEST movies that I have seen (well, except for Finding Nimo).

Now, there are 3 or 4 Captain Jacks walking throughout Hollywood Blvd, but THIS Captain is a dead-ringer for Johnny Depp (infront of Manns Theatre). I was SO convinced, that I actually pushed my way through the crowd of children asking for autographs to check him out better. Those cheekbones, those eyes - it just HAD to be Johnny.

After waiting for the crowds to disperse, I finally got talking to him and dived right in with an original "Are you really Johnny Depp?" He smiled politely and told me that He wished he had a dollar for everytime he was asked that question. OK, time for a different angle..... "So, you must be his stunt double then" Again, He wasn't giving anything away. My final attempt at drawing Him out was "Well, I bet it is good to be back home in the US. France is ok, except for all the Bloody Frogs". (He is married to a french woman and now lives in Frogland, I mean, France) At last, some recognition - He blushed slightly and laughed as only Jack Sparrow can. After about 5 mins of general chit-chat and Him having a go at my "funny accent", we parted ways. What a nice guy!

I still don't know if it really WAS Johnny Depp, but this is Hollywood and anything is possible. Afterall, what a hoot for an Actor to get dressed up just to see "what happened" on the street with the masses and fans etc. I really think this would be the sort of thing Johnny would do.

For anyone that saw Pirates, they would know that Captain Jack seemed somehow 'familiar'. It appears that Johnny got his inspiration for the part from Mr Keith Richards (Rolling Stones). Of course, the headband, the shells in the hair, the twitches... come on now, NOBODY at Disney would have come up with that one!

As Johnny explains it: "I thought of Keith because I was trying to figure out what pirates might have been like, their lifestyle back in the 18th century, and I thought, oh man, they were the rock and roll stars of the era. On the road to some degree, freedom, adventure, women, outlaw behavior, all of that stuff. And you see the greatest rock and roll star of all time, there are so many options, but to me it's Keith Richards hands down." Exert taken from Johnny Depp Interview

Nevada - Most Dangerous State in USA!
Mood:  vegas lucky


An intersting newspaper article appeared today in The LA Times, titled "50 Most Dangerous States in USA". Now, if I had of been asked to name the top 10 off the top of my head I would have put LA and NY within the top ten - Hey, I watch COPS! Well, here is the 411.......

"What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas" may be the gambling mecca's pithy motto but Nevada itself is the most dangerous state in the union, according to "Crime State Rankings 2005," a reference book just released by Morgan Quitno Press.

Nevada is the nation?s fastest growing state and with those rapid changes come struggles with crime and other problems. Its violent crime rate increased nearly 8 percent, while nationally, violent crime rates have decreased 9 percent.

The Most Dangerous and Safest State designations were based on six basic crime factors. Factors considered were rates per 100,000 population for murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary and motor vehicle theft.

Joining Nevada at the top of the rankings list (in descending order) were Louisiana, Arizona, Maryland, South Carolina, Florida, Tennessee, Alaska, New Mexico and California. (Did someone say Redneck Territories???)

North Dakota is the safest of the 50 states, an honor that it has held for eight years.

I am pleased to see that California is #10 this year, although I was surprised that Alaska is #8 - I blame THAT ONE on the Cold!!! Also intersting is that New York ranks at #31 - so much for post 911 Homeland Security.....

Check it out......

50 Most Dangerous States Statistics

Super-Size Me!
Mood:  hungry

10 weeks of American food has finally begun to take it's toll on me.

I can no longer blame the dryer for 'shrinking my clothes'. I just have to face the cold hard truth that I have put on 2 kilo's since moving here.

Although I have not yet gained an 'American Ass', things could go either way unless I take stock of my current eating (and drinking) patterns.

I have pinpointed some things which will have to change immediately:

A) Fat Burger, Chili Burger and Jack in The Box are not staple food supplements.

B) I can get through the day without 7 x vanilla latae coffees from Starbucks.

C) Everything here comes with 'cheese' - Just say No.

D) Entree sized meals are 'enough'. Regular sized meals will feed a small African nation for a week.


Oh well, I may not fit into my little bikini anymore but thank goodness I can still (squeeze) into my wetsuit!

I LOVE Rednecks
Mood:  a-ok

What is a Red Neck?

The archetypal redneck is generally taken to be a Caucasian from the deep South.

Their speech exhibits a thick drawl, often rendered even less intelligible by a conspicuous wad of chewing tobacco behind the lower lip.

They generally lack any fashion sense, and their physical appearance and mental abilities are such that only generations of incest could achieve.

Chosen mode of transportation for most rednecks consists of a "muscle car" or truck with oversize tires, festooned with confederate flags, and featuring bumper stickers that say: "American by birth, Southern by the grace of God". Recently, Ive seen bumper stickers on some of these vehicles that actually say: "Redneck, and proud of it", making identification that much easier. If they ride motorcycles at all, it will invariably be a Harley Davidson.

Rednecks tend to be extremely xenophobic, and, fortunately for the rest of us, tend to stick with others of their kind.

Heres a short list of other identifiable traits:

Favorite music: Country and Western
Favorite activity: shooting at street signs
Favorite religion: Southern Baptist
Favorite social organization: The KKK
Favorite beer: Coors

Having said that, check out these Redneck sites and you too will fall in love with these people, who have an even crazier accent than my Aussie one....

Redneck Dating - without the Drinkin, Cussin' and Fightin'

Mr J's Redneck Page - if it ain't ere, it's not worth knowin'.

Real Aussies DON'T Drink Fosters
Mood:  cool


Sitting in a bar the other day I almost fell off my perch when I saw that they had Fosters on tap. I started giggling hysterically between trying to tell my friends that NO Aussie would drink Fosters, even if it was given to them for free.

Anyways, a short time later (ok, a couple of hours later) we were still sitting at the bar when the bloke beside me struck up a conversation.

"Say, y'all sound like an Ostralyin".

"Sure am mate, just off the plane"

"Can I buy you a Fosters Maaate" - They just can't throw an accent to save themselves.

"Thanks mate, but I wouldn't touch that stuff with a barge pole. Afterall, you know that Fosters and Steve (The Crocodile Hunter) Irwin are Australia's biggest exports to the US?....Yeah, we didn't want em"

This big Yank looked at me astonished (you could actually hear the crickets chirping in the background), before cracking up laughing.

The bloke turned out to be a nice guy and before he left the bar, he gave me his card and told me to call him for a 'screen test' - Hey, this is LA afterall and EVERYONE is in 'The Biz'.

Turns out he is involved with casting for a Fosters Beer Commercial (can you believe it?) and was in need of some 'fair dinkum Aussie accents'.

So, to kill this cats couriosity, I did call him and arranged to go and give a reading 'so long as I didn't have to drink the crap'.

My immortal words are "G'Day mate, I'll have a Fosters thanks" to a bartender.

Hey, I got $200 for the day and a free lunch. If I don't end up on the cutting room floor, I will be in a national commercial with residual payments....although I would die of shame if it ever got played on OZ tv.

It will be interesting to see what happens although I'm not holding my breath on this one. I think that this was my 15 minutes of fame.

What Happens in Vegas, Stays In Vegas
Mood:  vegas lucky

Drove out to Vegas the other weekend. I was really looking forward to seeing the Desert.... Ha, the Nevada Desert is NOTHING compared to the Aussie Desert. I was expecting sand but all I got was scrubby trees, a few cacti and not much else. Oh well.......

We entered Vegas on dusk and it was the most amazing thing I have seen. We drove down into what can be best described as a crater filled with lights that goes on for miles and miles - It really is pretty.

We had pre-booked into the Tropicanna Hotel and spent an hour trying to confirm our reservations upon arrival - just what we needed after driving 5 hours to get there. We were really polite about the whole thing - well, what else could we do... As luck would have it, we scored a free meal and an upgrade to a King Size room - Yahoo!

I have fallen in love with Vegas and its bright gawdy light shows - although I would not want to live there...

The first night we decided that we were 'gunna hit the Casino's'. My god, there are hundreds of them and they ALL go 24/7. We headed out about 11pm and went straight to the cashiers whereupon I cashed $20 for 20 x $1's - yeah, last of the big spenders I know. My method was to play $1 in every casino till I was broke...

This is an easy task to play every casino, as the whole structure of Vegas is that you have to walk through Casino's to get to Casino's. By the end of the night I recommended that Casino's should give YOU money for actually being able to find the exits.... These places just go on and on and on... By 4.30am we had been into 25 Casino's and were still gambling the original $20.

One bar/casino we stumbled into actually had slot machines (pokies) built into the bar.. "What the hell" I thought when I put my $1 change from my beer into one. $30 payout and thanks for coming!

The most expensive place was Ceasar's. 1 Scotch and 1 Gin and tonic = $42. Holy Craps batman - the bartender wasn't joking! Well, what did we honestly expect when the same place charges $300 a ticket to see Celine Dion (they should be paying US for goodness sakes!). Oh well, it was Vegas and we really hadn't been drinking much that night - there was just TOO MUCH to gawk at. On the way out, we put $1 into the machine and pulled out $60 - thanks again and have a nice day!

Vegas is Disneyland for Adults hence the catchphrase "What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas". I wondered if some kids knew where their parents were and what they were doing here. I am sure that the 'die-hards' just don't have a place to call home. The really dedicated gamblers are mostly 'Nannas' who really should be home and in bed at 5am in the morning, not pouring quarters into the slots.....

After 3 days in Vegas, we never saw half of it. Next time we will fly out there and see some more of what this razzle-dazzle place has to offer.

The BEST Bars in LA
Mood:  chillin'


Now, when I say BARS, I am NOT talking about the trendy hippy-hop Paris Hilton type of watering holes, where the average entry fee is $20 and up.

I am talking about cool neighbourhood bars that are frequented by normal (well, as normal as your are going to get in LALA Land) people.

Most of these bars have pool tables, an older crowd and great overall ambience....

Here is a list of my favourites that I have managed to hunt out so far:

Formosa Bar - On Formosa (also serves great food)
The White Horse - On Western
The Frolic Room - Hollywood Blvd next to the Theatre
The Pump House - On Highland

I shall endeavour to update this list as time goes by......

Oh, smoking is absolutely forbidden in Bars... Watch the bartender flinch when you casually throw your packet of Marlboros on the bar. Everyone has to 'take it outside' which is fine - I have met some very interesting people this way.

Why does the Dunny Flush Backwards here????
Mood:  not sure
The erroneous bit of folk wisdom says that water always drains in a clockwise direction in the Southern Hemisphere, and in a counterclockwise direction in the Northern Hemisphere. The supposed reason for this "fact" is the Coriolis effect, which has to do with the effect of the earth's rotation on moving objects.

Well, there is such a thing as the Coriolis effect. It explains why macroevents such as hurricanes rotate in a clockwise direction in the Southern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Northern Hemisphere. However, when you get down to itty-bitty phenomena such as the water draining out of your bathtub, the Coriolis effect is insignificant, amounting to roughly three ten-millionths of the force of gravity.

The boring truth is that water drains every which way no matter what hemisphere you're in, for reasons which have to do mostly with the shape of the drain, the way you poured in the water in the first place, and so on.

===========================================================================================

Well, thank goodness this has been explained to me -Thankyou Mr Straight Dope.

If you have a burning desire to find answers to other such 'life mysteries', then check out the following link:-

Straight Dope Archieve

Never play drinking games with Mexicans
Mood:  party time!

The day started innocently enough when I drove down to Tijuana with the Girls to do some shopping. After walking the streets and literally shopping till we dropped, we decided on some lunch and a few bevvies (I am slowly teaching these American's the finer points of Aussie lingo).

For anyone who has been to TJ (as Tijuana is referred to by 'locals') they will know the endless hassel from touters in the streets - when a person is literally dragged into a shop and harrassed into buying something outrageously overpriced. One has to be strong and basically tell them to 'F*** Off' before they will leave you alone. Gee, I thought street vendors were tough in Asia...

Anyways, we found a restaurant and settled in for a nice 'authentic' Mexican lunch. I have to tell you, the ridgy-didge tucker in Mexico is MUCH BETTER than the re-fried beans they serve up in OZ. I quickly ordered a round of Margaritas to take the edge off the morning's shopping adventure, and sat back to enjoy the ambience of the restaurant.

Several Margaritas later saw the local boys join us for 'a chat'. Pleasantries aside we finally got down to business when they found out that I was the only Aussie in the pack. The conversation turned to tequila and how I should at least taste 'the real thing'.

The bottle of Mescal was brought to the table with a couple of shot-glasses. The 3 American Sheilas declined the offer, so it was upto me to carry the torch. I suggested that we make the game 'interesting' by having a bet.

Josie (I am sure they are all called that) said that the looser would have to ride the mechanical bull. Hey, I'd never been on a mechanical bull before and it sounded like a great idea. "Your on Mate" I replied before knocking back the first of many Shots.

Things are a bit hazy from this point in time, although I do remember being 'assisted onto the bull' and my girlfriends rolling around the floor in hysterics (and THEY were the sober ones!)

That 10 second ride seemed like hours and the last thing I remember was sitting on the floor 'seeing stars' and having shooting pain up and down my left arm.

The Mexicans offered to help me back onto the bull but I had to decline their kind offer... It was all over and "The Roo" as they had nicknamed me had to go home and sleep it off.

What a day it had been. I had my left arm operated on back in LA - apparently it broke when I was thrown (fell off?) the bull - lucky for me the Mescal deaddened any pain for the first 48 hours... even luckier is the fact that I took out Travel Insurance!

Ahh, those crazy Mexicans and the even crazier Gringo....Ole!

What NOT to do upon arrival at US Customs
Mood:  mischievious


After 17 hours aboard The Red Rat - a crampped Qantas sardine can from Sydney to Los Angeles - one should be excused for not thinking straight.

Tiredness and the craving for a smoke were formost in my mind, so I guess I just didn't hear the Customs Agent correctly upon arrival at LAX at 7am one morning.

The US Government has introduced complimentary photographs and fingerprints for all 'visitors' to the country. My several prior visits to the USA since 2000 have gone relatively unnoticed, but those days are now gone.

So, after thoroughly checking my passport, the Customs Guy asked me to look into a TINY camera mounted on his computer whereupon he took my photo. I should have guessed there and then that he didn't have a terribly good sense of humour when I joked 'I hope this isn't going to end up on ebay..'. His look kinda said it all.

Then, he asked for my right index finger which, unbeknown to me is the finger NEXT TO the thumb, and not the middle finger per 'the bird' he thought I was giving him.... Things were going downhill fast for me.

Then I was informed that I HAD to give an address for where I was staying in LA. I tried explaining several times that I was landing in LA and then jumping on a Greyhound bus to Tijuana. Jesus, these people just don't understand English I am sure.... I was basically told that unless I put an address on the Entry Form I would be put back on a plane to Australia. Be buggered sitting through another 17 hours so, I remembered the name of a backpacker hostel I stayed at several years ago in Hollywood.. Lucky for me, the Custome Guy knew the address, completed the rest of the Form for me and I was on my way through the pearly gates.

Welcome to America and have a nice day!